I have to admit feeling a little guilty about my attitude this year after reading Lanier’s various Christmas posts, especially the one about Keeping Christmas. While I enjoyed Christmas, it went by in such a blur. I think part of that is having a toddler/preschooler in the house. It seems like every time I turn around it is either 5:30 a.m. (time to get up!) or 5:30 p.m. (time to clean up the dishes and start Caroline’s evening routine).
When we decorated the house a few days after Thanksgiving and everything was up, I sat down and my first thought was – I can’t wait to put all this away. This is so not characteristic of me. In the past, I longed for the time when we would bring out the Christmas things and decorate the house. It always felt so homey and cozy. But adding a third member to our household has made it seem less cozy and just more cramped.
I know if a childless person is reading this they might be tempted to think that I’m an ungrateful wretch to even make such a statement. Believe me when I say I am very thankful for the little person who has taken over our lives. We would be sad and lost without her. But it is striking to me how adding one tiny little person and all her stuff and her presence can make a house go from cozy and comfortable to please just put it all away so I can breathe!
Everything is still up today (the 28th), mostly because of my cold and not having the energy to tackle such a large project. I usually enjoy keeping up the decorations into January, but this year I think they will probably come down on New Year’s Day. We’ll keep up the lights around the dining room windows and on the banister until the end of February which we always do in an attempt to dispel some of the winter gloom. We’ll pull out the box marked “Winter” and add some snowmen around the rooms for little change of pace. But I can honestly say that it was a good Christmas and, for this year at least, I’m already ready to move on.
How was your Christmas, especially those of you who had unexpectedly white ones? 
You know, I really think you’re right about just sheer lack of space making things seem cramped and stressed. With this move, we halved our number of children and at the same time, increased our household space. What a difference!! For years, I had thought maybe I was just selfish or something to feel so CROWDED in our little house with (eventually) 8 lively children. But moving to this space has showed me that part of it was that we JUST WERE CRAMPED. (And I was thrilled to have the children.)
That helped me. So take heart (if you needed that bit of encouragement) that I really think it could be true, what you say.
Blessings! Susan
I remember when Christopher was that age… yikes! Those were difficult years for all of us.
I loved my son but there were actually nights I cried myself to sleep because he wore me out (he was hyperactive to the extreme).
There came a day when I realized days were more enjoyable and less stressful as he became just a little older.
Sallie, I know just what you mean. This is the first Christmas since my little boy’s birth (he is 4.5) that I actually “felt” like Christmas. Just one little person can make so much work for us and when your health is not good and/or you are sleep deprived, it really messes with your mind and what you used to really look forward to is no longer seen as worth the effort. Things have gotten easier for me and now with the memory making years ahead, I’m looking forward to Christmas more and more. My little boy will remember these Christmases now and I want his memories to be magical like mine were.
As for the snow, I’m sick of it all ready. Our first winter in Colorado was nothing like this winter is shaping up to be. Our north facing front yard has had snow on it since the end of October. I don’t so much mind the winter; it’s the snow that I don’t care for! When I was little a white Christmas would have been a dream come true though.
Hang in there Sallie!
I know what you mean about feeling cramped. If I don’t keep things picked up, the visual clutter overwhelms my brain and I can hardly even see straight. Plus we all have terrible cabin fever already.
Our Christmas was good, and very white. Six inches or so of snow. Minnesota usually doesn’t get nearly as much snow as Michigan does near the lakes, so the snow slowed everyone’s pace down quite a bit. Grandma was going to bring down Christmas dinner for us, but had to postpone it until the driving conditions were better. So we spent a quiet Christmas Day at home by ourselves, and then Grandma spoiled us on the weekend.
Oooh, I hear you Sallie. I felt the same way. In fact, I pulled it all down on the 27th because I thought I would choke on all the CHristmas stuff all over the house. Broken lights, broken ornaments (I have a 4 and 2 yr old after all) and all the church services to boot. My friend commented a few days before, “It’s a lot of work making Christmas for someone else”. I agree. It’s a LOT of work. So we ditched church on the 27th because our kids were over-churched and we just needed to be home, be ourselves and get the house in some semblance of order.
Aww, I love you gals! I always know I’m not the only person to feel something but it is always nice to read the “I hear you! comments.
Susan – I understand what you are saying. I honestly believe that some more room would eliminate a significant number of my frustrations and free up time and mental energy. It would also be more to clean, but I agree. This goes beyond my being selfish or choosing not to be content. This house (and yard) was not designed for two working at home adults and a busy, active child who will probably be homeschooled. There is nowhere for her to run inside or out. If she takes three steps to start running in the backyard, she has to start stopping because our yard is so small. I am begging and beseeching God daily to make it possible for us to move in 2010.
Re: the snow. I’m so glad we have snow on the ground because then Caroline can go out and play in it. When there isn’t any snow there is nothing to do outside. I’d be happy if we had six or eight inches on the ground all winter because that would mean she gets outside play time every day. And we’re all happier and she sleeps better if she gets outside.
This year was a blah year for us…we tended to gravitate more towards the parades/cookies/christmas movies types of things and less towards the bigger parties and such. And of course we KNOW Jesus is the reason, but it was a low key year even with that. I didn’t do half of the advent stuff I normally do.
Some years are just like that. You’re not alone! And fyi,the christmas clutter is all put away here. My son and husband have birthdays today and I always like for it to feel like their birthday and not an extension of Christmas, so most years I take my decorations down the day after or on the 27th or so.
I like your idea about the lights on the banister to warm things up during winter. That’s a keeper!
It’s tough to be cooped up in a small house with an active toddler! I bought one of those small exercise trampolines for my four kids and they seem to like jumping on it here and there. I feel the same ways about decorations now- “oh, boy more work” Oh well.
Jenny: This is our second winter in Colorado as well! Last winter was SUPER NICE!! We’re lucky that our driveway is short and south-facing so we hardly ever have to shovel.
I had a huge realization this Christmas.
I do not enjoy any of the Christmas activities. Now, before I say more, let me just say that this is not related to the religious observance of Christmas….That I yearn for with a whole heart.
But everything else? The decorating, hanging lights, the tree, the gifts, the wrapping, the cleaning up, the cleaning up again, the entertaining, the visiting, the parties at school, the gifts for teachers, the mailman etc, the concert at school, the Polyanna for the cousins, finding places to put all the new gifts, the cards, all crammed into ONE month?…..Argh!
The only reason I do any of it is for my children. I believe they deserve to have traditional Christmas celebrations and I wouldn’t have it any other way for them.
For me, I feel that all of the stress actually separates me from the real meaning of the season. I know that it is not this way for many (most?) women, but this is my reality. I only do it for my children and it gives me joy to see them enjoy it all. But I don’t enjoy it and it takes me a while to re-energize after it.
My ideal Christmas would be entirely religious and truly simple. A candle, a few carols, Midnight Mass. A quiet prayer of thanksgiving.
We had an unexpected white Christmas and although it kept us from our usual plans, it was a welcome disruption. My parents live just a few miles away, but the blizzard conditions kept us from driving there for Christmas day meal. It was lovely to stay home, take naps, not rush to prepare food/get kids ready/get out the door.
That said, i am so ready to get our Christmas things put away. I love it all, especially the lights, but love the clean and fresh surfaces for January. Clears my mind after a busy holiday season and readies me to start fresh. Now, if I wasn’t 9 months pregnant and didn’t have this dadgum cold, I’d have it down by now, but hopefully today as hubby is home we can bring some order to this place……….
Ann,
I would guess a number of women feel the same way if they were honest enough to express their true feelings.
I’m sorry to say this was one of the least spiritual Christmases I’ve ever experienced. Even some of the spiritual aspects that we tried to incorporate ended up being problematic and therefore not edifying or meaningful. We hardly sang any Christmas carols at church (don’t get me started) and it just seemed like it was harder than ever this year to get in tune with the deep truths of Christmas. Sigh.
We actually put everything away yesterday. I just wanted to get it done and I knew that leaving it up wasn’t going to fix any of the disappointments of the season. It would just prolong them. So everything is put away and my cold (which is now also in both eyes) is a little worse today because I think I overdid it. And there is that inevitable bit of sadness when it is all put away. But I agree with Jenny about the clean surfaces and getting started in the new year with everything picked up.
I don’t mean to sound so negative. We still had a nice Christmas. Caroline was thrilled with her gifts, we received very nice and generous gifts from people, and overall it was positive. But it won’t rank up there as a top Christmas memory for me.
I had a good Christmas…..we have left our church and have been searching for a new one….so I felt less Christmas to me cause we have not been plugged into any church since early fall. I was divorced about 5 years ago, my ex left me and re-married and now has a two yr old. Because we always did Christmas with “his” family…my four kids do not know Christmas any other way. I regret this now…..as my kids HAVE to spend pretty much 90% of the hoilday with him and his family and new wife and son. They also do New Years with him as well. I guess I could get really ugly and mean about it and demand my four kids be with me as the divorce decree states……but tradition is important and they love the family stuff they do with my ex and his large family. I feel that at times it is not fair. Yet I see how happy my kids are and the small amount of time we have to together is a blessing. Most Christmas’s I feel very alone and just feeling like I do not fit in. It feels like everythnig is geared towards mom, dad and kids. My kids do not see how hard and painful the Hoildays are for me but I always make a promise to keep things upbeat and to go with the flow. Life is not fair. I try to remember that I have my kids most of the time during the year and that in the end it all works out.
My prayer for 2010 is that we find a church that would accept us and me as a divorced person…….and also to have much more paitience as a single mom. I need that desperately. I just want to be the best person/mother I can and be a good example to my kids. I hope I did not get too off track with my comments!
Oh boy, can I relate to these feelings! This year we were actually able to NOT have a Pack and Play in our living room for the first time in years, and it is still very cramped. We are a family of 6 in a home of 1267 square feet. Much as Ann stated, for me it feels that all the “have to” stuff of the Christmas season draws me away from enjoying the true reason, sadly enough. Maybe my visions of “simple” are just not completely possible in this day and age? Regardless, we put the tree up for the kids and they seemed to enjoy every activity, so it was worth it.