This past year I participated in the Beth Moore Bible study at our church. Although Beth’s teaching style isn’t what I normally best connect with, I have found simply being in the Word with women from my church is always worthwhile. And I was clearly supposed to be in this study. There were a few lessons that God meant for me because they were the answers to questions that had long been haunting me.
Week 3 of Believing God was “Believing God Can Do What He Says He Can Do”. My issue was not a lack of belief. I have a very strong belief in the omnipotence of God. I also believe strongly in His sovereignty. No, my problem was not lack of belief in His ability, but rather devastation with His lack of action in a particular area that seemed clearly contradictory to His revealed Word.
In writing about John the Baptist’s imprisonment, Beth says:
Imagine John’s predicament. If he had been wrong about Jesus, he had either sacrificed all for nothing or missed the real Messiah. And if he had been right? Then Jesus has the power to free him from prison and death. He simply wasn’t using it.
John experienced the most excruciating dilemma any devoted child of God ever faces. If I may pickpocket Edwards, surely no pain is like the searing of the heart when “your God has not lived up to your expectations”… All of us called to faith will have this knife-sharp experience in some form and at some point… I’d go so far to suggest that the deeper we have loved God, the deeper the potential for devastation when He doesn’t intervene as we know He can. (emphasis mine)
The verse for this day was Matthew 11:6 in the KJV which reads: “Blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me.” One of the definitions for “offended” in this verse is “to cause a person to distrust and desert one whom he ought to trust and obey.”
Beth writes:
Few of us will escape a painful opportunity to be offended with Christ. I have little doubt it is part of the believer’s life test. More often than not, the scenario of such a challenge will be similar to John’s… Blessed are we when we could be offended and choose with every shred of tattered faith not to be.
I was devastated by what happened. From the earthly perspective, God did not come through. Nothing has drained the hope and faith in me like this experience. I was definitely holding on with shreds of tattered faith.
There was another lesson that brought all of this together for me. I won’t take the time to write about that one as well but God did use this study to speak to me about this situation. It still is disappointing, but not devastating. I still struggle with discouragement because we are still living with the results of God not acting in the way I would have expected. But I know He had bigger spiritual purposes behind His perceived lack of action.
I’ve been meaning to write about this topic for a long time but never got around to it. But now I think there was a reason I never did before. I had to write about it today. The reason? I’ve been following a discussion on another blog and something a commenter wrote greatly troubled me. The commenter rebuked the blogger for not walking in faith according to the Word of God. The commenter quoted Scripture, pointing out why the blogger is making an unbiblical choice (in an area I don’t believe is as black and white as some people want to make it). But the commenter basically said that God will always come through and provide and to not walk in that truth is wrong. Well, I’m here to testify that God does not always come through and provide like we think He will and should.
For every story of a healed child, there is one that died. For every Christian man who found a job in answer to prayer, there is another one who hasn’t. For every envelope of cash that showed up at just the right time, there is a believing family who lost everything. For every happily married couple, there is a lonely single who follows Christ faithfully. For every miracle baby, there is a devastated childless couple.
Blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me.
God may not provide. He may not come through the way we would expect Him to. And it isn’t lack of faith or sin or whatever that prevented that person from receiving God’s blessing. God chose not to intervene, just as Christ chose not to intervene on John the Baptist’s behalf. Or Lazarus’.
Blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me.
The experience I went through has changed me. It has changed my faith. It has changed how I view the faith of others. It has changed how I speak to others about faith. It has changed how I view the actions and choices of other Christians. It has not changed my belief in God’s omnipotence or His sovereignty. But it has changed me. And I think that was part of God’s purpose in allowing things to happen as they did. Almost two years later I’m still trying to sort out parts of the experience.
I’ve watched others go through similar circumstances. Their convictions and faith told them one thing. Life circumstances told them something different. They have prayed and asked others to pray. They have believed. They have waited expectantly for God’s provision and intervention. They have clung to the Word. They knew God would come through. And He didn’t. And so they pick up the pieces of their faith and try to figure out where to go next. It is hard enough to not be offended in Christ. But it is made even worse when other believers with all the right answers pour acid in the wounds by their lack of support or trust that you are still seeking God.
Dear God, please let me never be one who further wounds one of your children or who interferes with what You are seeking to accomplish in their lives.
Sallie,
that reminds me of my journey. I homeschool, we feel God has called our family to do this. In the beggining, we were still young enough in Christ to assume that if we were called to do this, then EVERY family must be called in the same way.
Romans 14:4 was a real help in changing my attitude. “Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.”
Who am I to say that another Christian cannot hear the voice of God for her family, as well as I can for mine? If someone were to suggest (and they have) that I was in error (they said “sin”) for homeschooling my kids, I would be(was) very offended. I know with all my heart that this is what God has led our family to do. How then can I turn around and put that same burden of doubt on another family for their choices.
I hope the only time I would ever rebuke someone is if a friend told me that the felt God had called them to do something specific, and then admitted that they were choosing to go against it. Whether from fear or pride or whatever. not when someone decides that a season has ended in their life, and God is calling them to something new.
As for being offended with God Himself. I have recently had such an experience. and you’re right it certainly changes you. when you say to God “I can’t see how this situation could possibly be used for the good of anyone, it’s just pouring oil on the fire, and it hurts, and I’ m angry that you didn’t preserve my friend and myself from more hurt of this kind” and he just waits. for you to say “nevertheless, not my will…” I wonder if sometimes it just takes time for faith to sink in bone deep.
Mrs N
I know about this, Sallie. Seth is 16 months old, and I still struggle with all the reasons why God did not intervene to save the child we lost. I never knew how weak my faith was until it was tested in the fires of infertility. I would love to go back to being the person I was before God didn’t show up when I expected him to, but that person is gone, and I’m trying to learn how to be a person who believes just as strongly as she used to. Ignorance was bliss, I think. I think that most people who have lived with unanswered prayers don’t throw out “right answers” so quickly.
What a beautiful essay, Sallie. It was timely for me, as musing on why sometimes God says “Yes” and sometimes He says “No” to prayer is something that’s been on my mind of late. I’ve been mulling over deep thoughts about these kinds of mysteries, and how much impact do prayer requests have on God when He already must know what’s best for us in advance of our prayers…the kinds of “human” questions that many Christians probably find themselves thinking about at some point in their walk with Christ.
Thank you for posting this.
Best wishes,
Laura
I am reminded of something Elisabeth Elliot once wrote, “in acceptance lies peace.” Like you, I too have experienced situations of devastation, and while I have longed (and prayed) for God to alter those circumstances He hasn’t always done so according to my liking. But, He has used those situations for my own sanctification, for my own growth in faith. And, He has given me the grace and the ability to accept the ways things will be. In that acceptance I have found rest and peace. Yes, I still long for things to be different, but I find that my prayers are altered. I pray that His plan will be accomplished and that He will (daily) give me the grace to accept and rest in His portion for me.
I needed this today.
Obviously, because I sit here crying.
If befuddlement is a gift, it’s one with which I’ve been blessed.
Simply thank you.
This is so true. I went through this same bible study close to 8 years ago. At the time our family was going through something that was very difficult, and of course I received all kinds of counsel from family, friends and our church family. Sallie’s conclusions are very similar to mine at the time. We shoot the wounded, don’t we?
What a gracious and lovely post. I, too, follow the aforementioned blog (am very good friends with the author), and was frustrated by some of the comments I was reading. I’ve been dealing with similar feelings that you describe in this post. Just heard a great teaching on Habakkuk, who also wrestled with similar thoughts. His name literally means “to embrace.” I think of Jacob, Joseph, Job, John the Baptist, etc., who all must have wrestled with the “why God?” question. I often believe God allows these thing to happen to us to soften us and pour compassion into our cold and self-righteous hearts. Thank YOU for your willingness to allow God to pour His compassion into yours.
Oh Sallie. In the past 7 months I’ve been rebuked more than my fair share for my decision to quit my homeschooling, put my kids in school, and return to work. I’ve been told that I:
1. Do not trust God enough to provide
2. Must have some sort of hidden sin in my life causing my circumstances
The hard truth is that sometimes God does not provide a way we would like. I would love to continue homeschooling and staying home full time. But God has not made our circumstances change for that to happen. No matter how I pray, I am continually pushed to do something outside of MY will and MY want.
I could go on and on and I have really exhausted myself with this subject so I’m too tired to do it again. But the truth is God—-God will always provide—but it may or may not be the way we want Him to do so. There is a difference in the two.
And, for the record, we can be poster children for Christianity and holiness and do everything possibly right, and still NOT get things our way.
Sallie, you’re just wrong.
God does provide — always — for his children. He promises He will and He does not lie.
Job says, Though he slay me, I will hope in him;
yet I will argue my ways to his face.
Thank God for providing our reconciliation to Himself, which is our greatest need. But thankfully, he allows us to argue our ways and to work out our faith.
Thank you for the reminder to guard my mouth and to quit “drive-by judgements” towards others Sallie.
Sallie, I was simply too abrupt in my comment and I need you to please forgive me.
I was in a hurry and didn’t have time to flesh out my thoughts or even refer to the passages of Scripture that were coming to my mind and that was wrong.
Though I stand by what I said about God’s provision, perhaps I somehow even misunderstood your post completely because I know you’d be able to pull up the same Scriptures as I would have.
I have a personal policy not to interject in discussion in which I truly don’t have time to participate and this time I failed miserably in that personal goal!
I’m sorry I was curt. It was unnecessary. I may disagree but should have been more gracious. Please forgive me.
God bless your day.
~ Ruthanne
Ruthanne I won’t disagree with you that God doesn’t always provide. But He does not always provide WHAT we WANT when we WANT it!
I want to continue to be at home with my kids full time. God has not opened a door for that to continue to happen. I cannot sit by and demand that God fulfill my request just because I want it so. Instead, God has provided me with a wonderful job at a wonderful school with Christian friends and colleagues.
His way isn’t always what we want to happen. I think that was Sallie’s entire point
Oh how I agree with this post! The Lord provides us what he knows we need. But what HE thinks and what WE think are two totally different things.
My father owned a very successful business for 20+ years; due to economic circumstances and other industry issues, that business that was once a full time source of income for him is now a part-time (at best) job. He, at 51, has to find a full time job. Am I mad that no one has called him to interview? You bet I am. I feel sad for him, I feel angry that he and my mom are having to really pinch pennies. But I need to remind myself, “Your way, Lord, not my own.” There is a reason, and we don’t always know the reason, even if we ask, pray, beseech, and beg. But the Lord promises us that if we call to Him, He will tell us great things that we don’t yet know (Jer. 33:3). But He doesn’t say “Ask me a question and I’ll promise to give you specifics.” He instead tells us that He’ll answer great things; this to me, has ALWAYS meant that He’ll help us understand HIS will in a matter as opposed to the “Why?”
I’m watching the news right now, as I pack up valuables in our home. A dam up river is set to burst, and no one is able to tell us when it will, or what exactly will happen to those of us who live down river. All I know is that we could be just fine, or lose everything. My entire family lives downriver in the same community as me. We’re watching, waiting, and wondering what will happen, where will we go? I am sad, and angry, that we may see our homes totally destroyed, our possessions lost, and have to rebuild. But I remind myself that my loved ones will all be safe, we’ll have our lives. Sure, it will be expensive, and financially will be devastating for many…but being alive, and KNOWING that the Lord is there, listening, waiting, and ready to watch over us, is comfort enough.
The Normal Middle. I am glad you said that.Reading through the comments and the actual other post, that is the point which was getting lost. No one was failing to trust in God to provide- they were just not getting the provision they had hoped for. It makes me sad that these conversations happen really- but Sallie has said it all 100x better than I could.
Thanks, Ladies, for the good discussion. Ruthanne, thank you for coming back and explaining a bit more about your first comment.
I’m glad others pointed out that my intention was not to say that God doesn’t provide at all. My main point is that God doesn’t always provide in the way we expect, even based on our interpretations of Scriptures. I wish I could explain my own story more because I think it would make more sense if I told the whole thing. But it involves other people and I can’t tell the story publicly.
But let me give an example and maybe that will help. For example, it is hard for me to reconcile godly men who desperately want to work and provide for their families and not being able to find work with 1 Timothy 5:8: “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he had denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (NKJV)
Those are really strong words. So if a man truly wants to provide for his family’s basic needs and cannot find work, it is hard for me to reconcile it with this passage that speaks so strongly against men not doing so. It seems to be contradictory. I know God does not contradict himself or his word. But reconciling women like Lindsey having to take a job because their husband cannot find work even when they desperately want it is very hard for me theologically. And that is in no way a knock on Lindsey (which I know she knows but still want to say). In my finite mind I cannot reconcile the two fully.
And these questions go way beyond clipping coupons and getting rid of cable and shopping at Aldi’s. They involve the culture we live in, the times we live in, the oppressive financial situations we have in this country, etc. I fully realize there are people who don’t manage their money well, blah blah blah. But to write off these hard issues as people not trying hard enough or not being willing to sacrifice enough just isn’t intellectually satisfying for me.
I guess the example issue is this: A Christian man wants to work and God doesn’t seem to provide a job. He isn’t supporting his family and the Bible speaks strongly against this. And yet God doesn’t provide a job.
I hope that example explains a bit of what I’m thinking about and doesn’t make it all as clear as mud.
Andrea,
I’m so sorry to hear about the flooding situation where you are. I cannot believe how quickly it turned so badly in parts of the Midwest. I hope that the dam holds and you and your family are safe.
Hugs,
Sallie
Dear Sallie,
Thank you for this post. I have wrestled through these issues for years and have arrived with a similar viewpoint. Thank you for writing this with such grace.
Kat
Well, and God does provide a job—but it isn’t always the one that pays ALL the bills at the time (and we ain’t talking cable!) I know exactly what you’re saying Sallie and I agree with you fully. I honestly believe this whole situation with our downturn economy is a sign of the last days. I think we may see even harder economic days ahead.
Do I wish a great job would come our way? you bet! But it hasn’t. And we’ve been searching and praying for MONTHS now. McDonald’s isn’t even hiring in our town. There is only so much car washing and lawn mowing you can do for extra money.
Sometimes we are required to do the hard thing, for some unknown reason…I wish it were more sunshine and rainbows, but alas, it isn’t always. God is there thru it all.
Praise Him in the calm and in the storm, right?
Sallie, thank you so much for sharing these thoughts. They really helped my heart to have peace about my own situation, and you’ve given me some great food for thought, because I have been disappointed in my circumstances, too.
My new post addresses what happened in the comments section of my blog.
(Note by Sallie: I added the link to the post to make it easy to find.)
This is a beautiful post. I think so many of us, if we are honest about our faith, acknowledge that there are so many instances in this faith journey in which we pray for one thing only to receive another. And I’ve had so many examples in my life in which something happened that was uncomfortable and unhappy and was SO not what I had wanted. And yet, at some point down the road – oftentimes at a point way down the road – I realized how those situations were part of God’s plan for my life.
I find that it’s important, at least for me, to remember that I can’t possibly know God’s plan for me and mine. And I can’t for the life of me figure out how certain things can work for His glory and my good all at the same time. But, again, for me, that’s part of what makes it faith… the believing even when every fiber of my body says it’s not quite right.
Faith, for me, is believing that the plan God has is perfect and is weaving around me even when I might feel that life is choking me. But that may just be me.
I like to say that I can count myself in the body of believers through all times. I used to say that in college, that no matter what, I’d praise Him. Little did I know the ‘no matter what’ hadn’t happened yet!
Besides our current ‘roadblocks’ we’re dealing with, I got pregnant in 2007, lost my job when I announced my pregnancy, got a new job, got laid off. Got another job, got laid off again. My husband is the ‘breadwinner’ right now. I mean, I could be really sullen, angry, and such that I am not getting my way and what *I* think the Lord should give me.
But instead, we’ve learned to rejoice with what we HAVE been given – my mom often likes to remind me of when she and my dad were first married, they had $40 left for the month for groceries AND gas after the bills were paid. They ate a lot of mac and cheese. She tells me all the time that it isn’t how much extra God gives us at the end of the month; just to be thankful that He’s faithful to meet our NEEDS. If my bills are paid, tummies are full, and we have a roof over our heads, who cares about saving an extra $50? Yeah, it would be really nice to be able to have huge financial successes every month…but that isn’t how it works. As Meredith at Like Merchant Ships said once…” My kids have everything they need and some of what they want.” I like to think the Lord views our needs and wants the same way.
Sallie, dear, thanks for the prayers. So far, the dam hasn’t burst in Mukwonago. I94 Westbound was closed for a few days, and the law enforcement folks are on alert to close it if the water gets any higher (it is 6 inches below the bottom of the overpass – scary!). We’re all just praying, watching, and waiting. The Lord is faithful. Always…even if things don’t go as we think they should.
Sallie, excellent post. It makes me think of how Jesus knew that the majority of the people were following Him for what He could give them (the feeding of the multitudes stories). They weren’t following Him just because they believed in Him, but in what they could get from Him. How often I have done that. Blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me. A good reminder.
Hi Sallie. I followed your link from Kristen’s blog, and I have really enjoyed your post. We have been struggling with several things, and while I know what you said in your post to be true (that sometimes, He doesn’t provide; doesn’t come through in the ways we think he should, etc.) I guess my question is WHY? I am struggling so much with the WHY right now. Why would one child live when another dies? Why would one family lose their house while another can live wherever they want? Why would some go hungry when others are so wasteful with what they have, yet continue to be blessed?
I welcome any thoughts you have on this, while knowing you won’t know the answer to why.
[...] The following devotional from Streams in the Desert fits well with this post I wrote last year: Walking faithfully: blessed are the unoffended. [...]