Welcome to A Gracious Home.  Please feel free to look around and stay awhile.  I am no longer blogging here, but I am blogging once again.  Please join me at my new blog: A Quiet Simple Life.

For the past few weeks I’ve been going through the process of finding a babysitter to come in our home and watch Caroline a couple of mornings a week while David and I work. I’ve advertised at a few of the local colleges and have been emailing with a several women, arranging interviews and such. As we started the interview process I realized – this is madness. This is not at all what I want. I don’t particularly like the idea of having someone I really don’t know in my home every week. I don’t like the idea of someone I don’t know raising my daughter for me, even for just a few hours a week. I prayed for God to give me a child to raise and now I’m turning her over to someone else so I can spend time online?

Yes, online. Because there are enough hours in the day for me to get my business work done. But there are not enough hours in the day for me to get my work done and spend time online.

I’ve been open about my struggles with blogging all along. I truly have a love-hate relationship with blogging. I love the sharing of ideas and encouraging people, but struggle horribly with the personal and interpersonal aspects of it. I’m a person with few friends. I choose friends carefully and I keep them a long time. The relational aspect of blogging is something I have never been able to find any measure of peace with at all. It literally overwhelms me daily to interact with, feel obligated to, feel connected to, etc. so many people on a regular basis. And it leaves me much less emotionally available for my husband and daughter as well as my friends, family, church members, etc.

David is my biggest supporter and has helped me so much with my blogging. But he has also suffered because of it. If it were up to him, I think he would have liked me to have pulled the plug a long time ago. But he’s been patient as I’ve struggled to find the balance, thinking that if I just changed this or that there would be a way to make it work. It just is never going to work for me.

I love writing and blogging has reaffirmed to me that I have something to say and the ability to say it. I am looking forward to continuing to write, but in a way that does not demand so much from me personally. And in a way that does not emotionally drain me and leave me less available for those I love. So I will be taking down A Gracious Home in a week. I may see some of you online from time to time if I leave comments at other blogs. And if you would like to read what I write for Suite101.com you can subscribe to my feed here.

Thank you for being a part of this journey with me. There are so many of you I wish I could sit down with over a cup of coffee in real life and actually talk with for hours on end. Maybe someday we’ll have a little A Gracious Home reunion in heaven and finally all meet face to face. I would love for Caroline to meet the women from around the world who prayed for her before she was even born and I look forward to telling her stories as she gets older about how her story blessed so many people.

If I’ve done anything here these past three years, I hope I’ve pointed people to Christ. If I haven’t, then what I’ve done here hasn’t been worth a whole lot. If you read here at AGH and don’t know Christ as Savior and Lord, I pray that you will seek Him while He may still be found. I would be greatly saddened to start our reunion in heaven and find out that you weren’t there.

May God bless each of you abundantly.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21 (ESV)

Around noon today David said, “This is just like old times! It’s a Friday in March, you’re sick, you haven’t even showered yet, and I’m making lunch!” So true. The only thing missing was Magnum P.I. which we watched every day during lunch when I was suffering morning every waking moment sickness the first fifteen weeks.

I think I got some bad walnuts last night and it has got me down in a major way. Caroline has another ear infection so she’s on antibiotics again and those have done a real number on her as well.

So David is taking care of his two girls today. Hopefully I’ll be up and at it again soon around here.

Have a lovely weekend!

One of things I’ve long had in the back of my mind for AGH was to interview some of the many interesting people I’ve met through blogging. Recently I was reading a post at Mississippi Girl and Jennifer was sharing a list of wishes. One of them jumped out at me:

I wish people didn’t automatically have misconceptions about Southerners, Mississippians, etc. when they really don’t have a clue that most of us really are educated, well-read and actually wear shoes…. we just speak a little slower than everyone else.

I remembered reading on her blog that her family has been in Mississippi for many generations. I thought – I want to know more! So I emailed Jennifer and asked if she would be willing to be interviewed and she said yes. So here we are today!

Two things I have to add before going to the interview…

I think I started reading Jennifer’s blog while her husband was deployed to the Middle East. There are a lot of things in life that don’t impress me such as money and power, but I have such incredible respect for military wives. They impress me to no end with what they sacrifice on behalf of their country. So many days when I was struggling to adjust to having Caroline I would look at Jennifer’s blog and think – and she has TWO little ones AND a husband deployed overseas! It always gave me some perspective.

And, secondly, you have to see this picture she just put up. I laughed out loud! But make sure you come back to read the interview!

So let’s get started!

Jennifer, thanks so much for agreeing to do this interview. I read on your blog, Mississippi Girl, that you wished people knew the truth about Mississippi and its people. I thought that was an interesting comment and I wanted to know more! Although I’ve been in the South, I’ve never been to Mississippi so I’m looking forward to learning more about your home state.

1. Tell us a little about yourself and your family.

I have been married to Andy for 5 ½ years, and we have 2 precious blessings- Andrew (4) and Anna Katherine (Anna Kate) (2). Andy is a pilot (fixed wing and helicopters),and is in the Army, but we get to stay in one place, and don’t ever move around because of the nature of his job. We love being close to both of our families! I have a bachelor’s and master’s degree in nursing. We live in the beautiful, sunny, moss-hung, magnolia scented south (and specifically in the state of Mississippi). We LOVE it, and even after visiting points all over our nation and world, wouldn’t choose to live anywhere else!

2. I think I remember reading on your blog that you are a seventh generation Mississippian. Tell us a little about that heritage and what it means to grow up in Mississippi.

Actually, both daddy and mama’s families have lived in Mississippi for at least 8 generations. My husband’s family has also lived in Mississippi since 1788.

In my growing up years, there was always LOTS of emphasis on history, genealogy, and pride in our southern heritage. I tramped through cemeteries inspecting graves of long dead ancestors, across Civil War battlefields, went with relatives to put flowers on graves of “great-great grandma and aunt so and so (pronounced aint!) throughout the years. I listened to story after story of colorful relatives that became almost alive to me after hearing about them and staring at their faded photographs so many times.

Yes, our great and great- great grandparents fought for the Confederacy, grew cotton, owned a plantation or two and all of those other stereotypical things you read about in the “Old South”. I was fascinated by them. It was all a part of our heritage, which is a source of deep pride here in the South.

We often joke that there is “one degree” of separation here in Mississippi. Anywhere in the state that you go, you always meet someone that knows someone that you know. It never fails. I have heard my daddy say many times- “Jennifer, you know her daddy- he’s one of the Joneses from across the river, or her mama was one of the Hattiesburg Smiths”, or “His granddaddy was the one who worked at that place in the Delta and was shot”. Many family histories were recited at gravesites and engraved into my mind. History. Roots. Family. They are the very lifeblood of a Southerner.

Growing up meant sitting on the front porch in the summer humidity to “cool off” at night, sweet tea, fireflies, cicada songs, bare feet, catching catfish in Granny and PawPaw’s pond, gospel sings, country churches, hymns, going with daddy to cut pulpwood, always wearing matching smocked outfits and BIG bows, monogrammed everything, front porch swings, double names, Friday night high school football, getting turnip greens out of the garden, fresh seafood, beaches, Yes ma’am, good manners, hats and gloves on Easter, hospitality, cemetery cleanin’, riding the tractor, dinner on the grounds, Granny’s chicken and dumplins, fried okra, fried catfish, fried chicken (!!) pecan pies (pronounced pea-caaahn) and being surrounded by family. It really was idyllic.

3. If someone like myself were to visit Mississippi for the first time, what would you recommend they do/see in order to get a real feel for the history and culture of the state?

Okay, this is long, but SOOO good. My brother, John Russell (double name, again!) wrote this a while back and I can’t think of anything better that can summarize the regions, culture and history of our state.

Unique Mississippi

To understand the world you must first understand a place like Mississippi. -William Faulkner

I absolutely love this quote. To me this quote epitomizes Mississippi, which if many of you know is a very complicated place. If anyone is unfamiliar with Mississippi let me give you a brief rundown of the diversity of the different regions of MS.

1. Delta - Ahh the Delta. Some of the larger cities in this region include Greenwood, Greenville, Clarksdale, and Cleveland. Some love it, some hate it, but you have to admit there is not a place in the US as unique as the Mississippi Delta. The Delta has a mystique about it that cannot be explained unless you have visited there. They have musical heritage that is second to none. This is the region that gave us Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters, Morgan Freeman, and James Earl Jones. The people there are diverse, but a caste system still exists. The social structure is still divided by the races, although not as much as it was at one time. The Delta is probably one of the last regions in the US that is a flashback to the antebellum south. The African American culture here is one that people travel from around the world to see. It is rich with history and sorrow (hence the Blues). They are still a socially repressed people and poverty is rampant. It is one of the poorest places in the US.

2. Hills Region - This is the region that gave us Elvis, Tammy Wynette, and William Faulkner. This is an area that is steeped with tradition and old ways. Cities in this region include Tupelo, Corinth, Oxford, and Starkville, and Columbus. This area is home to Mississippi State as well as Ole Miss. This region is very industrialized. The people in this area are fairly flamboyant. They like nice, expensive things and like for people to know it. They love keep southern traditions alive, but with a flair… for example the lavish tailgating in the Grove at Ole Miss- with chandeliers, massive floral arrangements and “real” furniture!

3. Capital/River Region – Cities in this area are Jackson, Natchez, and Vicksburg. This area is home of the capital of Mississippi, the site of one of the most decisive battles of the Civil War. These cities epitomize the phrase “antebellum south”, and are to some of the most cutting edge medical technology, as well as several multi-national corporations. This area is what I would call the “heart” of Mississippi. This area is home of Willie Morris, Eudora Welty, Lance Bass, LeAnn Rimes, and Faith Hill. The people here are a very unique bunch, and this area is where social hierarchy is at its best(or worst). Jackson is where the Old and New South meet. You have places in this region that did not even celebrate the 4th of July until after WWII (Vicksburg). There are also cities that were hot spots for Civil Rights Movement, such as Jackson, and cities that just long for the lazy days of old (Natchez). Add- by Jennifer- I think Natchez is a MUST visit! Andy grew up here, and the architecture and concentration of antebellum homes here is just stunning.

4. Piney Woods Region – This region of Mississippi is a little different than the rest of Mississippi in the sense that it is not as old, and does not have the antebellum history of the rest of the state. However, don’t think for one second that this area is not steeped in its’ own traditions! Cities in this area are Meridian, Laurel, and Hattiesburg. This is the area that built Chicago after the great Chicago fire. This is the region that gave us Jimmy Rodgers, Dizzy Dean, Sela Ward, and Mississippi Burning. This is the home of the University of Southern Mississippi. People in this area are a little different make-up than the rest of the state. They are fiercely religious, with most of the counties in this area being dry. They have a little more of the pioneering spirit, rather than the good time spirit of the rest of the state.

5. The Coastal Region -The coast. Cities in this region include Gulfport, Biloxi, Ocean Springs, Bay St. Louis, and Pascagoula. This is the region that was recently almost wiped out by Hurricane Katrina. This is the oldest region in the Mississippi Valley. The first capital of Louisiana was Biloxi settled in 1699. The beautiful, antebellum last home of Jefferson Davis (Beauvoir) is located here as well. This is probably the most progressive area of Mississippi. The coast is a melting pot of many, many different cultures. You see less of the Old South and more of the New South here. There is a heavy French influence here. I would consider this area more similar to New Orleans, and Mobile than the rest of Mississippi. This is the area that gave us Jimmy Buffett, Trent Lott, Brett Farve, and Chris Ledoux. This area is heavily industrialized with companies such as Northrop Grumman (previously Ingalls), Trinity Yachts, the seafood industry, one of the busiest ports in the South, the port of Gulfport, and let’s not forget the casinos. This is the fastest growing part of Mississippi with an estimated growth of 150,000 in the next 5-10 years. This area has a rich culture, with a heavy Creole, and Slavic background.

Well that’s Mississippi for you in a nutshell, and actually that didn’t even break the surface. Mississippi has one of the most unique histories of any state in the union. From the settlement of the French, to the republic of West Florida to the antebellum period, the War Between the States, reconstruction, our musical heritage, the Civil Rights movement, to Camille and Katrina. We love to relish the past while at the same time lead others into the future.

4. What misconception about Mississippi and/or the Deep South do you find most frustrating? What is the truth instead?

I want to share a quote, or story rather, from a great website. This little story, while quite sad to me, summarizes the reaction we get a lot of times when traveling to other regions of our country. Most people think we are backwards, ignorant, racist and uneducated. There have been some dark moments in our state’s past, but they do NOT summarize who or where we are today. Today we are a people proud of their heritage, but who embrace change and the future.

Here is the quote, which actually led to the creation of this website… It tells the truth and combats many myths about our Mississippi.

A conversation between a 12 year-old boy from Connecticut who asked the Mississippi businessman sitting next to him on an airplane if the businessman, “still saw the KKK on the streets every day” … and whether or not he “hates all black people” was all the motivation the businessman needed. This stunning revelation was the catalyst to the businessman fighting back against the erroneous stereotypes that plague Mississippi. After months of research and numerous meetings with prominent citizens across the state, the businessman, who happened to be the COO of The Cirlot Agency…..”

Go to the website and read more at Mississippi Believe It.

5. Ole Miss or Mississippi State and why?

Between the two, I’d have to say Mississippi State. Even though I did not attend there (they didn’t have a college of nursing!) I am outnumbered by my family members! I have attended many a football game there, and spent lots of time visiting. My daddy, brother and sister are all grads of MSU, and my husband’s parents were both MSU graduates as well. (My sis went on to attend law school at Ole Miss, but we forgave her!!) I attended undergrad at Mississippi College and graduate school at the University of Southern Mississippi (USM). Andy graduated from USM as well… it is also a big rival of MSU, so there is some friendly competition that goes on between all of us!

6. Is there anything else you would like to tell us about?

I’ll leave y’all with a poem that my high school history teacher wrote for me to use in a pageant (stereotypical, I know, no laughs!!!). I think it is beautiful. Thank you, Sallie, for allowing me the chance to answer these questions. I deeply, deeply appreciate it.

Mississippi is a place, Mississippi is a people. But most of all, Mississippi is a spirit.

It is a land of enchantment that casts a spell over visitors and natives, both young and old.

Its’ scenic bayous, sandy beaches, and untouched small towns are the stuff of which dreams are made, as well as Hollywood movies.

In this one state beats the heart of the Mighty Mississippi River as it carries steamboats and barges to the Gulf Stream waters.

Wherever I plant my feet in this great state, I can feel the magic of our enchanted land.

Standing on the battlefields of Vicksburg with my eyes closed, I can feel the tragedy and heartbreak of a time best remembered only in history books.

As I follow the Natchez trace, I can hear the drums of our American natives as they followed a trail of tears from their land of magic… only these people know why the Pascagoula sings, or the Nanawoyhaa reaches to the sky.

Only in Mississippi does music float thru the air with Elvis’ rock and roll, Jimmy Rodgers’ yodel and the throaty blues of B.B. King.

The books and poetry of Mississippi writers tell of a people and place filled with magic. Eudora Welty, Tennessee Williams, William Faulkner and John Grisham have captured the essence of Mississippi enchantment.

The smell of cape jasmine and honeysuckle, the winds off the still waters and the creak of the old porch swing will always keep the magic in Mississippi.

Jennifer, thank you so much for taking the time to share with us today about your beloved home!

Our little Peanut, Caroline, turned seventeen months yesterday. She continues to be a great joy to us and we are thankful that God sent her to turn our world upside down and bless us with fun and smiles. I love to hear the literal pitter patter of little feet when she is running around upstairs and I’m on the main floor. It is such a happy sound.

This picture was taken this morning at the Meijer Gardens. We went to get a peek at the butterflies and escape the snow. Caroline enjoyed herself as you can see!

A few weeks ago Caroline entered the “helping” stage and that has been so much fun. She wants to help us with everything. She carries all of the decorative pillows over when we make the bed each morning. No small feat as some of them are huge! She now pushes her corn popper toy like it is vacuum cleaner. Any time she can get her hands on a cloth or rag of some kind she is sure to do some dusting!

She’s learning how to love her Bitty Baby now. She likes me to wrap it in a blanket for her and she will carry her around until she seem something more interesting at which point Bitty Baby gets dropped. But we’ll work on that. Grandpa B. is making her a bed for her baby so I’ll share pictures of that once we have it.

It might have taken her a bit to switch to regular food, but she’s a great eater. The only thing she’s tried that she spit right back out was coleslaw. Otherwise she does very well. Her favorites? Clausen pickles, Granny Smith apples and pepperoni. She would literally eat pickles at every meal if I served them to her. And as David says… the grass is always greener on the other side of the table. For some reason, the food on my plate is often more appealing than the exact same thing on her own plate. Go figure.

Caroline really enjoys music. She likes to sit on the piano bench and bang away on the keys and turn the music pages. She is fascinated by my guitar. I got it out this week after hardly touching it the past three years. She likes to strum the strings and enjoys the tuner I have. She has her own little Winnie the Pooh player and plays it constantly. She also likes to play the Bible songs on this other player. (The microphone feature is irrelevant but the music and illustrations are great.) Frequently, the stereo is on and we have the Pooh player, the Bible songs and the fridge phonics all going at the same time. Nice. Sometimes she will stand at the coffee table with a book and while reading the book keep pushing one of the buttons on either Pooh or Bible songs so she has music to read by. My daughter loves books and music. I am so blessed.

One little story told to us… The night we met with the church council about becoming members, our pastor’s wife, Dawn, watched Caroline in the nursery. There were some other things going on in the church that night and another member stopped in the nursery to talk with Dawn. Apparently Caroline figured they were busy so she was going to head out. She walked over to the chair, picked up her coat and mittens, and headed to the door! LOL! We’ve also been told by others that when she has been around a crying or upset baby that she has gone over and squatted down next to the baby and patted the baby on the shoulder to comfort it. Awww! I look forward to seeing that myself.

We love our little girl and are so thankful for her.

I must be crazy, but here is the question: Do you spank?

Why or why not? Did you start spanking and change your mind? Decide at first not to spank and now do? Do you believe “spare the rod and spoil the child” is a biblical directive? When do you believe a child is old enough to obey and be spanked for disobedience? If you don’t spank, what do you do? And if you could only recommend one book to a new parent, which book would you recommend related to discipline?

Please focus on explaining your own view as opposed to trashing the opposing view. Thank you.

Should be an interesting discussion!

I’ve noticed something over the past year or so that bothered me in the past but now I find kind of funny. If I see an incoming link to my blog, I will try to check where it was coming from and what caused the link. More often than not when someone links to my blog they will offer a disclaimer along the lines of, “I don’t agree with everything Sallie says, but I liked this post about….” I don’t really see this when people link to other blogs so I’m guessing for some reason people think that they have to be really clear that they don’t agree with me on everything. And yet they come here for some reason. I told David that I’m going to put a subheader on my blog title that says something like “The Christian woman’s guilty pleasure”.

Ok, so what’s my point. Karen remarked partially in fun and partially in seriousness on the spanking post, “Sallie, you DO like to stir the pot. don’t you?”

No, I do not. I do not stir the pot for the sake of stirring the pot. My goal in writing about these topics and initiating these discussions is not to create drama or controversy. It really is because I do like to hear what people think and find people fascinating in general. I also like the fact that I get to learn from a great cross section of wise and experienced women. I don’t stir to stir. I do like to peek in the pot, discuss the ingredients, and determine the best way to cook and serve the potted dish when it is done. KWIM?

Here is the difference put another way. I don’t post here to teach women how to clean out their closets. I don’t do these great posts with before and after pictures. I’m glad there are women who feel called to do that stuff because there is a need for it.

No, I don’t want to teach women how to clean their closets. I want to help women think about why their closet is a mess and what they can do to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

In the same way, I’m not here to persuade women to have one baby and baptize it. I do want women to think about why they have the children they do, why they baptize or don’t baptize them and why other lovely Christian women might make a different choice.

I’m not here to tell women whether to work, how to school their children, what to wear, and whether or not they should wear a doily on their head or put their hands in the air when the worship. I am here to encourage women to be convinced before God that they are doing His will and while taking every thought captive to God they are also taking every action captive to God. Have I arrived and do I do all these things perfectly? I certainly think not. But I enjoy the company of the women who gather here while I try to figure these things out in my own life.

So I’m offering this disclaimer: WARNING: THINKING WOMEN CONGREGATE HERE!!!